Question...

I have a lot on my mind right now. I just thought I would pose a question to my readers and get some answers. Without using names, or really the exact details of the situation at hand, here goes:

A really great friend of mine, over the past year, did something truly devastating to her spouse, also a really great friend, and their marriage ended because of it. It has truly been a very sad, sad, upsetting situation. I mean her spouse is like one of the best, most wonderful, Christian men you could ever meet, and that anybody would love to have as a spouse.For whatever reason this friend of mine, just did what she did and it is what it is. I have mostly kept my mouth shut in regards to the situation. At first, I tried to be there for her, but as the situation progressed, she showed absolutely no remorse for what she had done, and so I guess I just felt I needed to be there to support her spouse. Over the past year, things have continued to happen, and today was no different. I guess I just got sick of her doing things to my friend (her former spouse) and so I decided to send her an email and ask her to please just leave him alone! Sometimes it seems nobody actually acts like what she has done is wrong. Instead it seems as if most people condone it!

She of course responds with the whole "wow. that was not a very christian thing to say". I mean honestly, what I really had wanted to send in the first place, probably wasn't very Christian. But luckily I calmed down and sent the 2nd one instead, which I thought was pretty tasteful and to the point.

Here is my question:

As Christians, are we never allowed to tell somebody when they are out of line? Are we never supposed to tell someone when they are doing things they shouldn't? Is it always considered "immoral" to let somebody hear the truth, even if it is not the nicest thing in the world?

Ok so that was like 3 questions.

But do you know what I mean?

I get so tired of being railroaded over because I am a Christian. Why should people be able to say and do things to us, because we believe in Jesus?

Why can we not defend ourselves?

I mean I think there are obvious biblical examples of this. Jesus didn't defend himself. So does that mean we shouldn't either? It says to be "slow to anger and slow to speak", so does that mean we are allowed to get angry and speak, just not right away?

I was just curious what ya'll thought on the issue. I mean I know this situation is pretty vague, but I just thought I would see what you thought. And if you think I was wrong to tell this person anything...let me know that too! :)